Sometimes my angry colon wakes me up early or even in the middle of the night. It needs to let me know how upset it is with me for something I ate, that glass or two of red wine I had so late, but most often it rails against me for the undo stress I'm putting on myself.
My colon gets "angry" because I have ulcerative colitis. *If you're squeamish and care not to know what this is, skip down to the next paragraph now. The simplest way I can describe it is - my body is basically attacking itself and creates ulcers in the lower part of my colon. (Yea!, I so always dreamed of having an "incurable" disease that attacks my colon!)
I was diagnosed 3 years ago and the last 5 months have been my healthiest so far...until now that is. I have found that the clearest correlation between flare-ups and my life is when I am under large amounts of stress - It's then that my body decides to bless me with a flare up.
Enough about what woke me up, let's talk about what kept me up.
I have a business, and am working thru what the future of it will look like. It has been flailing around like a dog's ears when he hangs his head out of a car window - not a good sign.
I had some realizations last night that have been in the making. I took in bits from books, podcasts, and interviews that I've been listening to and I realized something. I haven't been doing my best.
My business is in "the dip" as Seth Godin talks about in his book surprisingly titled, The Dip. I have not been being the best in my microcosm or a market. Now I just have to figure out if I want to be. (That was scary, to put out into the universe.) What if I don't want to be?
There are many reasons, that my business has been struggling, but I'm beginning to see that a large part of that falls into two categories: the wrong focus, and lack of "whims".
I have been focusing on what's URGENT instead of what's Important. Explanation: (These are Marie Forleo's words, so for the best explanation watch this little video.
I let myself get caught up in all the "busy" work of being a solopreneur. Social media rabbit hole, research and money spending no more. Email replies and immediate follow ups are getting pushed to the back burner. You are URGENT, but not Important. (At least not so important that you distract from what's important. Get it?) Watch the video - she's awesome, you'll love it.
It is time for carve out time to focus on what's important. What is pulling at my heart strings, what do I feel about life and my business? It's time to have a little fun.
Enter wise words from my favorite business coach, the Tiffany Han. I had a phone call with Tiffany on Monday and had some real break throughs.
Things are not working. I need to make some major shifts. I need to decide what I really want, and show up everyday to figure that out, and then to make it happen. I need carve out creative time, allow myself to follow my whims, and have some fun while doing it. The stress cycle is doing nothing for me.
I may need to get a part time job while I'm working through all this because believe me, there is a lot on the list. (Another thing to work on - making shorter, achievable to do lists.)
SO, Colitis, you'd better go back into hibernation, because I don't have time for you. (First order of business, heal my body.) Then I can get going taking one tiny step in front of the other, so I can figure out:
How to focus on the Important, not the Urgent. What do I want to be the BEST at? Which whim is going to lead me to my new business model?
(Side note, It felt like a "Truth Bomb" because I also just listened to a great interview with Danielle LaPorte on money. She loves her truth bombs, and I loved her point about how we learn how to manage money, but we are never taught the importance of money to freedom. Take a listen here.)